Too Easy On You
by KateBender
Summary: Clare was too easy on Eli for ruining what they had by going to Lenore. What Clare SHOULD have done!
1. Chapter 1

Okay, I get that Clare is a very stable person but that annoyed me her reaction to being cheated on was to kick Eli out and not kick him in the "nards." This is how I would have reacted if I were Clare... or how I think she should have reacted. 

* * *

_Are we going to act like last night wasn't weird?_

_I'm so glad you felt it too. I think I know why._

_"You do?"_

_How long has it been going on" _

_"Just once"_

_"Why'd you start?"_

_"I missed you so much. I was miserable."_

_"That is how you cope with missing me? Smokes? Look, I found the cigarettes. I know."_

_"Oh...those don't belong to me. I was holding onto them for Lenore. Must have forgot._

_"She's your editor, right?"_

**_Silence_**

"Okay... so if the cigarettes aren't yours. What was _"only once?"_ Panic starting to build in her voice and thud beneath her breasts.

"I'm so sorry, Clare. . ." He apologized avoiding everything, avoiding especially her eyes which were becoming angry, panicked, devastated and teary all at once.

"Sorry about what... You are saying sorry for what you_ did_... What did you do?

"Clare... let me explain." Eli approaches her with intention to hold her.

"How... how COULD you do this to ME? To US. NOW our ear piercings, Frostival, Morty, Romeo and Juliet, our bench. My struggle through faith, your struggle through bi-polar mean NOTHING! I was by YOUR side in the hospital after your car accident. YOU were by my side all summer long in the hospital during my cancer scare. How could we have gone through SO much together as a couple? You almost died... I almost died, but we didn't and we were stronger together. Did you forget about all of that, Eli? How could that have meant nothing to you in the moment you were with her? You were willing to risk all of us for... HER? You said you were ALL IN!" She burst into tears after hearing their words, she melted into his chest dissolving into a puddle of tears, a pathetic mess. "You said you were all in..."

"Clare... I-I" He couldn't respond through her blubbering mess of emotions and streaming tears. He just hugged her close. He started tearing up himself. She drew back and started punching his chest, beating at him and crying harder, he tried to hug her harder but she drew back. Slapped his face hard and crisp until his tears flung off his cheek. "I hate you, Elijah Goldsworthy! I HATE your guts!"

Eli rubbed his reddening cheek as he tried to keep up with what seemed to only be the start of her rampage. "Clare..."

"You and I have always romanticized Romeo and Juliet and if they have taught us one thing, you don't leave love without a good fight. So if this is the absolute last time I'll ever see your sorry, cheating ass you are going to hear me and stare our relationship in the face before you spit on it!"

"I don't think I've ever seen you so angry at me. Not even when I crashed my car intentionally... or put drugs in your brothers locker."

"How the HELL could I not be angry, Eli!?" Clare garbed his head which shocked him, she placed her hands over both ears which made her screams sound softer to him. She started having his face as she yelled about _'how could he do this to them?'_ "We've been boyfriend and girlfriend for the past three years... and you pissed us all away in one lonely night. Pathetic!"

Eli blinked. He couldn't believe what he was witnessing. Clare was so well-adjusted and composed and she was dealing with this in a psychological turmoil. It reminded him of himself when he wasn't on his medication. "I just missed you so much..."

"That is the saddest excuse I have ever heard from you. I think you are a college boy masquerading as a man. Tons of guys at your school have back home girlfriends that they are staying faithful to. You just couldn't hack it because you are a coward!"

Clare took her fingers from his ear so she could whisper into it. It was too embarrassing to shout. It brought shame to confront, especially considering how he'd disregarded it. "I gave you my virginity on prom night! An entire life believing I'd save that for marriage. I loved and trusted you so much I broke my own law."

This started making her so mad, especially seeing that look of shock and horror on his face, no words coming out of his ugly mouth. She raced towards the apple pie she'd baked them. "Oh, nothing to say, huh? HUH!? Sure did have something to say when she called you during our date last night! I HATE that I trusted you so much to believe it was an innocent call. I encouraged you to take the call in privacy and KNOWING what YOU did to ME, you went along with it and answered! Guilt couldn't have even brought you to hang up on her!? If she was a mistake, a regret... WHY are you still buddy buddy with her?"

"Clare, I'm not buddy buddy with Lenore."

"YOU WERE HOLDING ONTO HER CIGARETTES FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! Are they post-coitus?" Clare spun around refusing to face him, he looked into his lap devastated.

"Clare... there is no need to go there."

"You don't get to judge my tact when everything you did and how you did it was classless!"

What he did forever changed Eclare. She may have felt better if he told her it happened at college but he never spoke to the random girl again but the fact that she was still part of his life was a slap in the face. Clare turned around, anger softening to reveal tears streaming off her cheeks. "You are in love with her... why else keep it a secret yet continue her friendship? You knew I'd ask you to get rid of...

He couldn't defend himself.

"I want to see what this girl has that I don't!"

Clare was very very intellectual. Witty. Lovable. This didn't make sense. She approached Eli and snatched his phone. This shocked him and out of response even made him fight for it a little bit, she took her hand and pushed his face away to worsen his grip. His face still sore that he reacted to pull her hand from it, ultimately losing his leverage of the phone. He chased her around the kitchen island as she raced faster scrolling through his pictures. Sniffling back some snot and tears as she pushed the phone into his face. "Is this the bitch? IS THIS HER!?" She pushed and pushed the phone into his face where he couldn't even read it. She chucked it at the wall with a shaking hand. "So THAT is what you are into? That is what I have to look like to gain your attention?"

Clare was embarrassed with her growing insecurity. But it all started when he held her in the hospital bed after discussing chemotherapy. She confided her insecurity that she would have a bald head. He told her he'd always find her beautiful. Was this why he strayed? "So you like em long, blonde and thin? Pretty shocking for a goth nonconformist. I thought you went to film school to break cliche molds and bring originality into the theater, well great job, asshole. You are no Christopher Nolan. You are Michael Fricken Bay"

Eli held a shaking hand over his mouth as he started at his destroyed phone. He had never known Clare was so passionate about him and so... psychotic. He knew she planned to never see him again and was getting it all out. The next time she'd see him likely she'd be so embarrassed of her bad behavior she'd avoid him. Clare grabbed a handful of the fake hair on her head. She took the wig and threw it at his lap. "Couldn't face THIS, could you!?" She smoothed a hand over her bald head and pointed at the brown wig with the other. "You should have told me you prefer cheap bottle blondes! I'd have bought a lighter wig"

As upset as this was making his selfishness he stood up now realizing this wasn't all about him. "No, No, Clare...darling. It wasn't about that at all, you are beautiful. It wasn't about that."

"Save it, Eli. I saw her pictures. She's a model. I'm short, bald and not starving away. I told you when I was diagnosed it was going to be hard. I TOLD you if you were going to leave me, leave me now so I didn't get hurt. You led me on. As disgusting as you are for wanting that I cannot get over how I fell in love with you."

"What do you mean...?" He was almost about to cry.

"We got paired up in creative writing. Ms. Daws thought you could help my writers block. You uncovered that hidden side to me and made me tell you I couldn't write because I was fearing my parents divorce. My dad had an affair on my mother, Eli! You knew that! You were there when I found out. How could you tell me that we aren't my parents and then betray your reassurance?"

She sobbed and blocked her red eyes with her palms. "I hate you, Eli. Everyone was rooting for us. We beat all the odds. If I couldn't trust my father, I thought I could at least trust you. I don't trust him, I don't trust Asher, but my faith was in you even when I lost faith in God. I'll never trust another man again because you are ALL alike. All chasing some fantasy. You had something real and she loved you. Maybe you love her and this isn't some fantasy. I don't even know. All I know is I am glad you live in New York so I'll never have to see what a let down you were. Good luck at film school. You sure have trouble with commitment, hopefully you won't fail under the pressure of 8 years."

Eli started to cry and shake and only the stability of his heavy medication was keeping him from being his old self and doing something crazy. "We are broken up... aren't we...? Clare, please! After three years you can't do this to my heart. How can you possibly just give this the kiss of death?"

"Get out! GET OUT! I didn't ruin us, Eli. You and Lenore did! Out of my damned house and if you ever loved me at all you'll let me move on and never, ever speak to me again. I am shocked the love of my life turned out to be a fake. At least last time when we broke up I knew one day when I was married and had kids I could always look back to our things with fondness, but now every time I see a bench, or hear the name 'Eli' I will have a sick feeling in my stomach. So thanks a lot! You fell out of love with me and lost attraction to me, so you don't deserve my pie!"

Clare took the hot pie in her hand. Her next movie was predictable. "So Mr. Big time movie director. Want a movie cliche?" Clare slapped that pie into his eyes, down his chest and onto his lap. Not even crying anymore but getting closure.

She screamed and screamed and screamed for him to leave before she blew up again. Eli pointed his finger in her face, furious she disrespected him with the pie but realizing he lost her brought despair to shroud his frustration. He stood up and ran towards the door. Clare chased after him to have the satisfaction of slamming the door in his face.

She took the two pieces they were about to eat. Clare held the pie plate and spat onto Lenore's piece dramatically so he got the point. "HERE!" Take this pie back to your BITCH."

Eli stood there in stun as she slammed it on him. He heard the door shut but he wasn't in reality. He pushed the pie from his face and clothes and looked up into the sky, screaming. Screaming all his frustrations out. he shook his fist in the air. he was angry but who else was to blame but him? He had no hone anymore but needed to get to his parents house to phone Lenore and tell her to never speak to him again.


	2. Chapter 2

"Uh... Why'd you delete me off Facerange?"

"Look, maybe those cheap generic cigarettes are going to your brain. I do stupid things to Clare when you are around me. What kind of guy talks to you during my date? We have been too shamelessly close.""

The New Yorker interrupted. "Oh, do you have them? Sorry I threw them in your backpack the way I did. When we went to visit my parents for their anniversary dinner I totally forgot I had them on me and they'd kill me if they knew I smoked."

Why was he meeting the parents of the girl he slept with? "...Goodbye Lenore."

"Eli, if your heart was with Cher... you wouldn't have been with me so easily. I've never been able to do that with a man when another was in my heart."

"Spare me. Your manipulation sounds attached, next you are going to pull that pregnancy card on me. You only noticed I distanced myself from you because you have no life and I'm the only friend in it. I'm going to try to talk to her so the sooner you get out from my ass, the better!"

* * *

"I told Lenore to shove it."

Clare looked up from her book, she closed it and set it on the porch and started to walk down the street. "That is a name I'll be fine if I never hear again."

"Fine-, Bimbo, It, Lenwhore." Eli chased faster

Clare carefully considered her options, though 'Lenwhore' did tempt her. "What did... "It" have to say?"

"She wanted to be objectified then bitches when a guy treats her like his chew toy. It was a meaningless night of passion, Clare! But what wasn't was... last night. Where the Hell did that girl come from? I've never seen you so passionate about us. Hell, back in the day it was usually me and you were the sane one." Eli smiled. "It showed me how much this must have meant to you... How much you loved me."

"Eli, do you hear yourself right now? That is just like Crazy Eli to say. You romanticize unhealthy, destructive actions. You think dramatica is indicative of one persons love for another."

"Clare. It's not like that I swear. You know I'm not the same guy I was in high school."

Clare breathed through her nose, a lot more composed after last night.

"I know you aren't that guy anymore. That Eli told me he'd wait until we were married. That Eli didn't care about sex so much. That Eli would have never given me up, fought for me... This new you gives up so easily. You were the most unsupportive boyfriend ever during my sexual harassment. Looking good for your play was more important than helping me feel alright. You said justice in scheming was just petty, but it sure wasn't that way with you and Becky. Face it, all that mattered was a stupid high school play during one of the scariest, most violating experiences of my life.

I was scared to tell you on the night of my birthday and you hinted you'd leave me if I wasn't forthcoming. You "couldn't do this anymore." You try so damned hard to be "healthy" and "stable" and "well-adjusted" when all it makes you is a cold hearted monster. You care so much about NYU. You wanted to impress them with the play, so the Asher crimes gets overlooked. You spend a week there the first week back from Christmas break... you were going to let me leave without discussing the kiss. You even admitted that you've come a long way and caring too much about a kiss isn't progressive.

I see right through you, Eli Goldsworthy. I think you are afraid your disorder is going to come back... and ruin your future so you let fear make you an emotionless man. You used to love so freely and now you are afraid of love. The old you was crazy, but at least you had emotions. At least you cried. Now all I do is cry and you have that stoic look on your face. You dumped me and left me for dead, you ignored me crying and having sex was so important before NYU that you begged me back right as you were leaving and we went all the way..."

"Coming from the girl that left me for being all over the place emotionally? Make up your damned mind. Well it is too late for that. I'm finally in a stable place and no one is going to convince me I was better before."

"So being normal and having people think that is more important than... keeping me? You aren't Romeo anymore, Eli. You haven't been for a long time. I thought for sure you'd beat Asher's ass. You are a medicated robot. You are only feeling when you are high on drugs or having sex."

"Clare... why are you saying all of this? You know we belong together. If this is about Lenor- IT, I can never speak to her again."

"You wouldn't have anything to make up for if you had been the old you."

"I'm not the kid I was in high school anymore, Clare."

"Then maybe all that us against the world, Romeo and Juliet, Hoarding, Jesus club, my identity crisis was who we were when we were kids. I dealt with some stuff and your hand was there and I know you told me the same... but maybe the best we ever got was high school. Maybe that was all we were supposed to reach."

"I cannot believe that. What about last night? You were right, I was wrong. We survived Cambell Saunder's suicide. Your parent's trying to break us up. Vegas Night"

"No we didn't, Eli. I felt so alone after Asher. You refused to get involved and your method of dealing was telling a teacher and going to the police. Want to know where that went? No where without any proof. He could have had a good old fashioned ass kicking but that was too much drama for you. You broke up with me after finding Cambell. When the going gets tough and our relationship is tested you leave. You didn't even cry about my cancer, Adam dying... you aren't the man I fell in love with. If all we had was a high school relationship we should have kept it separated at the end of Sophomore year and left it at that."


End file.
